When "I'm Fine" Isn't Fine

Men are often taught to stay productive, stay controlled, and stay quiet. The cost is that anxiety, depression, shame, or grief can manifest indirectly—through irritability, withdrawal, workaholism, numbing behaviors, or relationship conflicts.

You might recognize yourself in any of these:

• Feeling anxious, overthinking, or trapped in "survival mode."
• Numbness, low motivation, self-criticism, or "functioning but flat."
• Family-of-origin wounds, emotional neglect, or old trauma are being triggered in the present.
• Using alcohol, substances, or other coping mechanisms to quiet your mind or avoid pain.
• Communication breakdowns and ongoing conflicts with your partner.

If any of that resonates, therapy isn't about "fixing" you. It's about helping you feel safer being yourself—and providing tools that truly work in real life. 

The pattern many men miss (until they do)

There's a reason men can feel disconnected from their emotions.

Often, it stems from early experiences—times when they didn't receive enough nurture, guidance, or limits. Not your fault. But as an adult, it's your responsibility to confront what's there, so it stops leaking into your body and relationships.

A quote from Terry Real captures this well: 

The wounded boy grows up to become a wounding man, inflicting upon those closest to him the very distress he refuses to acknowledge within himself."

This isn't about blame. It's an invitation: slow down, observe the pain, and start building a relationship with it — so you can respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

What Men's Therapy May Look Like

Men often worry that therapy will be passive, overly clinical, or vague. That's not how we operate.

Real Therapists Group was founded on a simple idea: people heal most effectively when they are met with honesty, compassion, and genuine human connection. We show up engaged, present, and grounded because the best therapy feels like talking to someone who truly understands you.

In practice, men's therapy might include:

1) Nervous system work (so you can actually calm down)

Anxiety isn't just mental—it's a full-body experience, often rooted in past environments where hypervigilance made sense. We'll focus on where anxiety resides in your body and how to soothe it without suppressing it.

2) "Kind awareness" (a different relationship with your inner critic)

We use kind awareness — noticing what's happening inside you with curiosity rather than judgment — because healing rarely occurs when you're in conflict with yourself. This is also where inner-child/inner-part work can help you re-parent the wounded part of you with steadiness and care.

3) Boundaries that protect you and help you show up better

Boundaries aren't walls. They're how you stay connected without losing yourself—protecting you from becoming a victim and preventing you from being offensive.

4) Trauma-informed, relational healing

If past experiences continue to influence your reactions today, we apply a trauma-informed approach that integrates body, mind, and connection—including mindfulness and kind awareness, "core self" work, and healing that occurs through relationships.

5) Support for substance use and early recovery (without shame)

If you're trying to stop drinking or using substances—or questioning your relationship with them—therapy can help you understand what you've been trying to manage (such as grief, trauma, anxiety, or loneliness) and develop lasting coping skills.

You don't have to be perfect to connect

One of the key truths in men's mental health: invulnerability doesn't foster closeness—authenticity does.

Therapy helps you practice:

• saying what's true without exploding or disappearing
• owning your impact without getting overwhelmed by shame
• building healthy self-esteem (not less-than, not better-than)
• showing consistency in your relationships

How to get started with us

1. Set up a free consult, see if it's a good fit
2. Schedule your first appointment
3. Work collaboratively towards your goals.